Saving old journal notes to this blog for keeping

3-14-06
Today I'm going to try to cut my sugar intake down to almost none. I'm gong to try to eat mostly protein and vegetables, drink water, and get 30 minutes to 1 hour of walking in daily. This is the first day of my plan. I have quite smoking for over a year now. I rarely drink alcohol anymore, and now I have to tackle this weight problem full force. I weigh around 200 pounds, would like to lose from 65 to 70 pounds. Would like to try for about 2 pounds per week. 70 divided by 2 equals 35 weeks divided by 4 equals 8 and 3/4 months. I have the tools to accomplish this goal. I have the knowledge of proper diet, exercise, and now I am also ready mentally. Will document my progress weekly. Need to get measurements and exact weight documented by next entry. Need to eat 5 or 6 times per day with 200 to 300 calories x 5 or 6. Need to learn to de-stress without food especially SWEETS. Also need to check with an Endocrinologist, or do research concerning hormone balance. Need to get eyes and teeth checked. Should have appointments for all of this by next post.
The only thing listed on the next post was one word: cholangiocarcinoma, this was the diagnosis given to my step dad the following week. So guess what happened next, well you know that I didn't begin my plan. It was time for researching this cancer to make sure my step dad received the best care possible. My Mom was still recuperating from Lung Cancer so she wasn't able to help much with my step dad other than try to help him nutritiously, but this was very little help because she was still week and still SMOKING! No matter what I try to do for this lady at times it is never enough but the smoking after LUNG CANCER really pissed me off in a HUGE way.
All I can really do is pray for her, my step dad died, and she almost died again with respiratory failure in May of 2007. After this episode she quit smoking for almost a year but I think she is trying to sneak it back into her life. I am not going to deal with this CRAP anymore. I will help from afar, I don't want to say good bye to my mother this way but I can not stand to be around her if she is going to slowly kill herself in front of us. I just will not watch, it touches me to the core of my soul. Also my daughter is missing out on her grandmother but it is her grandmother's choice, she never wants anyone, especially children to visit. I believe her main reason is to sneak in her little smoke times and she does not want to hear it from anyone. Well I guess she is getting her way.